Would you get a manicure by candlelight in Africa?

Here’s how taxis work in Yaounde, Cameroon. A taxi driver sees you and slows down his cab. You yell out your destination – in French – followed by how much you’re willing to pay. If he agrees, he honks once and stops his taxi. If not, he keeps going.

Great, I thought, when my bus pulled in from the Cameroonian coast. So hailing a taxi in Yaounde would be… well, not easy, considering I can’t speak French.

Fortunately, there were taxi drivers waiting at the bus park, so I didn’t have to test my poor language skills. Of course, they couldn’t understand my accent and didn’t know where the hotel I’d chosen was, but at least I didn’t have to yell at them from the side of the road.

I tried asking for my hotel, Meumi Palace – which I’d chosen due to its location near embassies – using different pronunciations.

“Moo-mi Pah-lass?”

Blank stare.

“May-you-me Pah-lahce?”

Nothing.

“Chad Embassy?”

Ah, that worked. The hotel was across the street from the Embassy of Chad. I checked in and headed downstairs to a small shop in search of a bit of chocolate.

I was in Yaounde because I needed visas before I could continue the next leg of my ten-month round-the-world trip. Gabon. Republic of Congo. Democratic Republic of Congo. Each would take at least a day, more if I didn’t pay for express service, but given the price of hotels in Yaounde (on the high side), it was in my interest to pay the express fees.

I asked at the hotel reception for directions to the Embassy of Gabon.

“It’s not far,” said a woman that wore a cool wig featuring a purple streak. “But it’s complicated. You’d better take a taxi.”